"Love your neighbor as yourself!"—that's what the Bible says. How much do you love yourself? Do you believe in yourself and trust yourself? Do you take steps and make an effort for both your daily needs and your most beautiful dreams? Yes, right here in this Life that you are living TODAY.
I started learning to love myself ten years ago. That was when I read a book that said, "Put yourself first," and something about it felt right. Today, I believe that if I know how to fill my own cup—without begging from others—and I fill it so that it overflows and nourishes my soul, then it will also flow to my close ones and fill them too. Honestly and authentically, without guilt or blame.
But the truth is, love is a lifelong process. I am still learning how to love myself and the people around me. Sometimes, I still fall into the victim role, I blame, demand, expect, betray, attack, and feel guilty. A couple of months ago, I realized that I lacked a certain personal understanding of the purest and most genuine form of respect—unconditional respect. If I set conditions for respect, I set conditions for love as well. I can say that I respect and love, but if I do it "because that’s just the right, good, and beautiful thing to do" without deeply feeling the essence, then I am lying to myself. And to my neighbor!
I looked for the right answer and feeling, I asked questions, I studied, and searched. I needed to step forward but I didn’t know how, and this created a deep inner conflict. I began to respect even less, acted arrogantly and degraded, considered others foolish and incapable, forbade and commanded, destroyed, invalidated, distanced, and separated. Perhaps I didn’t know any other way to find the answer than by becoming its opposite. At some point, I realized that this feeling does not have to come to me immediately. It’s okay if I don’t yet know how to respect unconditionally. I am learning. And I am learning to love unconditionally. Right now, I love as much as I know how. And then, step by step, I grow.
I am learning to be more honest. I am learning to surrender. To acknowledge weaknesses and flaws. To accept. To claim strengths. To be present. To be interested. To be equal. To listen. To change. To believe. To trust. To support. To take action. To include. To be grateful. With dedication and relentlessness.
With Love, Liisi
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